


Iron Man 3

by Blue_Hood



Series: Not What They Seem [15]
Category: Iron Man (Movies)
Genre: Canon Divergence - Iron Man 3, Extremis (Marvel), Fix-It, Remix, Souled Vampire(s), Vampire Bites, Vampires
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-13
Updated: 2019-08-23
Packaged: 2020-08-20 20:03:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,215
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20233594
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Blue_Hood/pseuds/Blue_Hood
Summary: How does being bound to vampire change Iron Man 3?





	1. Prologue

"Darcy, you sure you can handle running things?" asked Tony. They'd agreed Darcy should be their handler while Clint was gone. Clint, not Tony, not Pepper, they considered Clint their usual boss.

"Of course," Darcy listed, "Make sure the super soldiers go to the Mansion to shift. Threaten to wake Bruce if needed to make sure Jane sleeps. The roof is zoned for the Bifrost not the landing pad and no inside. Feed the scientists, again threaten Bruce if needed or call James in. I got it, I got it, most of this is already my job."

"Alright, we're out."

As promised, Clint taught Happy how to use his phone on the flight, making the man excited as he realized just all the things he could do. Arriving at the Malibu house, Clint quickly put all their luggage away. Pepper and Happy had agreed to stay with Tony because it was convenient, just as Happy stayed near the Tower. With their luggage taken care of, Clint conscripted the head of SI security for grocery shopping. “I got Tony on a healthy diet and routine, I’m not going to let all the work it took to get him there go to waste.”

“Alright but,”

“Pepper’s the CEO and I’ve been warned against taking Tony to a store. When has this place had a security breach?”

“Point taken.” On the car ride to the store, Happy asked “How do you stand the city with your, y’know, super senses?”

“Age factors in, I suppose. You get used to certain things,” answered Clint. “I’m just grateful my kids had something of a peaceful upbringing. Can you imagine being a newborn vampire in any big city?”

“Are vampires born with all their teeth? I’m curious about teething with fangs.”

Clint pulled out a knife, biting it then showed Happy when they came to a stop “I imagine it would be painful to have these grow in but you have to understand purebloods need blood from birth. They don’t work their way up to it the way humans work their way up to solid foods.”

“So that’s a no on the teething.”

“That’s a no. I gotta say, you ask some interesting questions. Everyone else was focused on what I could do not how being a vampire works. I am one of two daywalkers, possibly the only true vampire who can glean nutrients from something other than blood. Blade is somehow only half vampire, which means he’s also half-human. I am too old to call myself a half-breed.”

“Care to share some vampire lingo? I’m trying to wrap my head around all this.”

“Myself and my king, who you would call Dracula, are originals. An original is a vampire created by magic, we’re called that because King Drake is the original vampire. When a vampire drains someone, they drink so much blood that the person they’re feeding from dies. Despite the name, this does not necessarily leave the person without blood. The word drain refers to being drained of life not of blood. Kinda like how bloodhound means hound of pure blood.”

“Okay.”

“Feed is the proper name for when a vampire drinks blood. Humans eat, vampires feed. Most of the lingo is pretty self-explanatory actually. Vampires have a practice of claiming humans to be property of their house, either as feeders or familiars.” He snapped his fingers “A familiar is a human who serves a vampire in the hopes of being turned into a vampire themself should they please their vampire master. A familiar is marked with a sigil, sort of a house crest, bout the size of the nail on your thumb. Usually the sigil goes on the neck or wrist, though sometimes it’s hidden a bit more. I don’t support the practice of familiars, they’re too much like thralls.”

“Thralls?”

“Human slaves. Ask me anything, I’ll tell you no lies. But, uh, try to phrase the questions as theoretical. Never know if a familiar is listening in.”

When they returned to the mansion, Clint conscripted Tony to help cook. The billionaire had said he wanted to learn.


	2. Killian and Rhodes

After replacing all of the keypads with badge scanners, Pepper instituted a policy that said all employees must scan their badges when entering a new area for safety. The example of a terror attack was used to illustrate the need, scaring the staff into abiding by the new rule. Clint kept his distance most of the time but when Aldrich Killian came for a visit, he stopped the bickering between Happy and Pepper over replacing the maintenance staff with robots “Those guys are Enhanced,” pointing to Killian and his lackey. “As for the other thing, Happy, raising the unemployment rate will only harm the company not help it in the long run.”

Happy decided “Clint, stay with Pepper for the meeting. See what they want. I’ll call Tony and get JARVIS on looking into these guys.”

“Pepper, all meetings go through security for a reason. How is a supercomputer supposed to help keep you safe if you try to keep things from him?”

“Right. Let’s get this over with.”

When Killian saw Clint, he said “You can leave security outside. You know me, I’m not a threat.”

“It’s protocol in case of an attack to be able to evacuate the CEO,” explained Clint.

“Oh, in that case, keep up the good work.” This clearly derailed his plans somewhat as his lips twisted into a scowl that quickly straightened back into a smile as he began his pitch, which Pepper had to shoot down for legitimate reasons.

When they returned home, a tall dark skinned man was talking with Tony. Clint smirked “Mind introducing me?”

“Clint, this is Rhodey. Rhodey, this is Hawkeye.”

They shook hands as Clint asked “What’s your real name?”

Rhodey chuckled “James Rhodes.”

“Another James, what do your other friends call you?”

“Rhodey.”

“Alright,” turning to Tony “You run background on the two guys who visited Pepper. They smelled like mutates.”

“Smelled?”

Clint said “Look at me.” Before hissing to draw attention to his fangs, “I’m a vampire. Anyone here can answer your questions?” He moved to stand by Tony, nose in the inventor’s neck.

“You’re feeding from Tony?”

Looking up, Clint smiled “Yup.” He led Tony to sit with him on the couch.

Happy asked “What are we going to do about Killian?”

“Let him play out a bit more of his plan so we can track the full operation, fix whatever damage AIM did to the War Machine armor and prove the sabotage in the process so the military will stop outsourcing upgrades to shit competitors. If Killian is behind AIM and the Mandarin then the guy we see on TV must be a face man.”

“The Mandarin? That’s a bit of a leap, don’t ya think?” suggested Pepper.

“The Mandarin uses super soldiers, Killian smells like super soldier. I don’t think it’s a big leap. We need to run our investigation through whoever’s investigating the Mandarin, be ready to raid the real bases.”

“Alright, sounds like a plan,” Rhodey was excited by the prospect.

“Not a plan, a series of goals. The details still need to be sorted.” Tony leaned into him.

Rhodey looked at Pepper, wide-eyed. The businesswoman calmly explained, “Clint’s presence has a calming effect as does Tony’s scent on Clint. JARVIS and I have used it to end Tony’s binges.”

“How often does Clint feed?” asked Rhodes awkwardly.

“About once a week,” answered Tony before explaining, “Most vampires can’t be out during the day or get anything from human food, which is just two ways Clint is special.” Sitting up, he said “I think we have the basis of a plan. You can offer my help in the Mandarin case along with a system update, say I offered greater control over the repulsors’ blast power. I can make dial mine back to knock a person out, yours would kill the person and damage the wall behind them.”

Clint said “You’ll have to keep the paint job so as not to tip AIM off.”

“Alright, fine. JARVIS will follow their digital trail, we’ll give the government bits of what he finds until we’re all ready to move in. I’ll try to come up with an excuse for them not to move on the information as it comes.”

“Tell them it might speed up the Mandarin’s time table,” suggested Clint. “If you kick over a hornet’s nest, those inside will swarm.”

“That might work, we’ll see.”

“That takes care of a few goals. Working with the government from the outset will win us some favor.”

“Right. I’ll fix the armor, JARVIS will gather intel and Rhodey will be our point of contact,” summarized Tony.

“That’s all we can do for now. Rhodey, would you like to stay for dinner?”

“Uh, sure.”

Clint conscripted him as the night’s sous chef. What probably surprised the airmen the most was Tony’s eagerness to eat. “Okay, I’ll bite. How’d you do that?”

“Do what?”

“Get Tony to want food instead of forgetting to eat.”

“It might sound insulting but I got him on a schedule. I treated his insomnia by making him sleep after three days and slowly lowered that number until he slept nightly. I brought finger foods down to the labs for lunch everyday, making sure he ate his share. Every morning in New York, I had breakfast waiting. Something for Pepper that she could eat on the go along with a latte. Sometimes the same thing for Tony, sometimes pancakes or waffles, always coffee instead of a latte. I even hid his coffee maker occasionally so he’d run out of energy. Butterfingers actually got in the habit of making popcorn when JARVIS told her that Pepper was on her way down. Tony was impressed when he discovered how much she learned to do for me.”

“She?”

“Yeah.” Clint shrugged “Why are the AIs automatically boys? I get JARVIS is named for a guy but you can’t tell me that Butterfingers, DUM-E and U have male namesakes. Tony told me that he views DUM-E as a boy but he’d never really thought about the other bots’ genders. I told Darcy to let Butterfingers help her take care of Jane, giving the bot something to do so she doesn’t feel abandoned.”

“Wow, man, you really thought this through.”

“I have three kids, Tony has three bots. Maybe I’m projecting by thinking of one as a girl and the other two as boys.”

“Your kids-”

“Three vampires about fifty years apart, though my oldest are closer in age to each other than my youngest. Tony is slightly older than my youngest, who was named Anthony after him. Any of the others, even JARVIS can answer any questions you have. Just do me a favor and don’t ask them over the phone or in public, anonymity is the Enhanced first line of defense.”

“Okay.” Rhodey could do that.


	3. It's Over

Some things are inevitable, mused Clint as he shadow jumped to where Rhodey and Pepper were tied up. Knocking the AIM agents out, he hoped they’d get memory loss with their concussions. Upon freeing the two humans, he shoved a gun into the airmen’s hands and began searching for Tony. JARVIS had already knocked out the cameras, which were unfortunately but unsurprisingly digital. He used his training to take out the agents they encountered along the way, hiding his powers well until he burst through the door to the room Tony was tied up in. When the guards fell, Killian lost all his bravado. Since Dr. Hansen cut Tony loose during the confrontation, the man behind the Mandarin was facing two Avengers and an armed Air Force officer with no back up. Clint crouched in front of the puddle of a man, pulled out his phone, hit record and said “Start talking.” The terrorist leader spilled all the beans, the anger lacing many of his words highlighted how unstable he was. With a full confession, Clint knocked him out with one punch. Handing the recording over to Rhodes, he said “I think we’re done here.” Maya Hansen followed them out, wisely keeping her mouth shut. Stopping outside, the immortal archer turned to her, “Dr. Hansen, is it?”

“Yes, Agent Barton, right?”

“Yeah. Look, you’re not getting out of this scot free. Killian’s confession is going to be processed as evidence. He won’t be able to make a deal because everything he could possibly offer was given freely.” Clint shook himself, focusing “Rhodes?”

“Agents are on their way.”

“I suggest you self-surrender. They won’t care about why you did it, only what you did.” Clint looked between his group “And whatever you do, don’t give away your creation again. The government can be just as bad as their enemies.”

Tony said “We’ll keep an eye on the case, make sure everyone gets a fair trial, no one gets disappeared.”

Maya said “Alright.”

“What are you going to do?” asked Clint.

“Surrender, wait for a good deal before confessing and tell them my research was destroyed.”

“Good.” Clint smiled “It’s not even a lie, your research will be gone. Wait here for the feds.” Tony, Pepper and Clint left Maya sitting on the front steps while Rhodey stayed to pass on the evidence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Being a fix-it, I changed the circumstances not the characters. Clint rescued Tony so Maya survived, Killian was a super-powered coward, Rhodes is a soldier (he's defined more as Tony's friend/sidekick than an Air Force officer in the movies). So on and so forth. The people were the same but vampire Clint cut things short.


End file.
